So much to catch up on! I'm not going to add borders to photos anymore cuz it's stupidly time consuming and I don't think anyone would even notice the photos were borderless if I hadn't just said it...
From December 17th to 25th, my sister Therese and my mom came to Thailand to visit me and it was amazing. I thought I might get emotional and cry when I saw them but it was just 100% smiles and laughing.
Before I get into the details of their visit and all the things we did (their pace for activities is definitely faster than mine… hard to believe how much we crammed into 9 days), here are a few general observations about Thailand so far.
Thailand does not shy away from "girly" colors. For example, bathroom doors in the BKK airport bathrooms were purple, and many of the taxis are pink. I get the feeling that Easterners are more comfortable with "the feminine" than we are in the West, but don't quote me on that. Maybe those colors aren't even gendered in that way here, I have no idea.
A few notes about the bathrooms:
1) Paper towels or other hand dryer are not reliably provided in public restrooms. I wonder if the humidity pretty much takes care of this people, so they figure, why bother?
2) Often, the showerhead is installed in the bathroom without a curtain dividing the shower area from the toilet, so when you shower, it just gets the whole bathroom wet. This upsets me.
3) They've got bidet hoses in most bathrooms, as shown below. I've never used one... I wonder how many people actually do use them?
4) Also pictured below: the one squatty potty I've encountered so far, which was during an overnight bus ride from Bangkok to Krabi in a rural area.
Thai is the most beautiful written language I’ve ever seen. I just love the circles and loops in it -- I don't know what it is, it just seems so cute and artful to me! (Fun fact: there are no spaces between words; the spaces indicate the ends of sentences.)
There are advertisement screens in the airport and around the city, and one of the most common products I’ve seen advertised is skin lightening cream. I just finished reading I am Malala (about the girl that got shot by the Taliban in Pakistan), and using skin lightening cream is also mentioned as a common part of one’s beauty regimen in Pakistan. So interesting, the standards for beauty around the world... I could comment much more on this, but I'll save it for another post.
Thailand is very tech-savvy; for example, there were big touch screens in the airport for information and to request taxis, and the BTS (sky train) stations also have big Information touch-screens.
Traffic drives on the left side of the road, and the driver’s side/steering wheel is on the right side in the cars. This is one of the reasons I don't think I'll be renting a scooter anytime soon.
The only word we picked up in Thai was “Kap-kun-kah,” which means “thank you,” and it’s also common to do a little hands-together bow when you say it. The "kah" at the end is for when a woman is saying "thank you"; men would say "kap-kun-kap". Knowing just this one word was totally fine in terms of logistics; most people in the cities we visited speak basic English, and most restaurants/massages parlors/etc. have English translations of their menus.
Also, my parents are so amazingly generous. My mom wouldn’t let me pay for ANY of the lodging or flight expenses, so I tried to contribute by paying for other things when she’d let me. She also picked out awesome AirBNB spots like a champ. It’s actually been a bit hard to go back to crowded, messy hostels…
Bangkok (Round One)
To get from Sao Paulo to Bangkok, I had two 6+ hour flights, with a 4-hour layover in Ethiopia in between. (Mom and Therese came from around the other side of Thailand, and had a 4-hour and a 13-hour flight, with a layover in Taipei, which sounds way harder.) One thing that was particularly interesting about the Ethiopia airport was that there were Muslim prayer rooms -- and separate rooms for men and women. Later, I noticed this as well at the Bangkok bus station, and when I got to Krabi, I started noticing restaurants advertising "Halal" food (which is basically for Muslims what "kosher" is for Jews). Someone told me that part of what makes food Halal is the way the meat is slaughtered and prepared, and Wikipedia confirms this. I didn't expect to be learning much about Islam yet, but it's pretty cool to see how present it is here in Thailand. In any case, I was exhausted by the time I finally got to the AirBNB my mom had reserved for us to stay. However, knowing that she and my sister would be arriving that night definitely boosted my energy a bit.
Mom enjoying a foot-dip in the rooftop pool
Outside the beautiful condo where we stayed our first two nights in Bangkok
After the initial adrenaline boost from the arrival of my new travel companions, my energy and mood dropped quite a bit for the next several days, which I felt guilty about – they had come so far to see me and I felt like a lousy host. I just didn’t feel like my usual positive, happy self. But I’ve learned that I always get like this when I change countries, and the intense jet-lag, as well as the culture difference this time, must have made the transition extra rough on me. Usually I can just wait out those feelings of laziness and being antisocial for a day by just resting/watching Netflix for a half after arriving in a new place, but there wasn’t time for that this time, so it took a bit longer to feel back to normal. Once I did, I wished they could stay much longer since I was finally fun to be around again! (I think…)
During our short stay in Bangkok, we got the first of four massages (Thai massages are so cheap – I think we paid about $5-10 for one-hour each and they are actually quite thorough). I tried eating adventurously right away, with a shrimp oatmeal for breakfast our first morning. We walked around Sukumvit Road for a few hours, read by the rooftop pool for a while, and then had dinner at an outdoor restaurant. We tried to buy liquor and juice for cocktails by the pool, but there are only certain hours during the day that you can purchase alcohol so we had to wait. Btw, there’s a Thai whiskey – Sang Som, I think? – that is quite tasty. People told me that I’d be able to get beers for 50 cents in Thailand, but even though the drinks and food here are quite cheap, I never saw any beers for only 50 cents. I also haven't been to any bars with chapels in the back or been propositioned by a ladyboy, which are other experiences I've heard I may have.... but there's still time!
Phuket
The next day, we took a taxi to the airport to catch our flight to Phuket (pronounced "Poo-ket," not "fuck it," you hacks). The taxi driver took us to the wrong airport, despite my mother being very clear that we needed to go to BKK. So then, we had to scramble into another taxi and do our best to stay positive while we kept our fingers crossed that we wouldn’t have to book new flights to Phuket. At BKK, we were able to check our luggage even though we arrived 2 minutes after the baggage check deadline, and then had to basically dive through the security check belt. Mom is a crazy fast speed walker and Therese and I could barely keep up. I thought it would be hilarious for Therese and I to grab empty cups from a cafe we passed and pretend that we stopped for coffee on the way to the gate, but there wasn't even time for the quickest of pranks; we made it to the gate with 4 minutes to spare before it closed.
Our hotel in Phuket was right above a restaurant where they had live music every night, and their food was good and less expensive than other places we’d been, so we did dinner and/or drinks there every night, and of course my mom quickly became a staff favorite. She is the friendliest always, and was visibly/audibly enjoying all the songs, which was awesome. On the second night, there was even a performance by Thai Elvis:
Phuket has gorgeous white sand beaches, and we got to spend time at three of them: Kata, Karon, and Nai Harn. A sample of Kata:
Therese looking hella adorable in a beach hat
We had lunch our first day at a restaurant right next to a surf school; for about $40 per one-hour lesson, you could practice riding waves on an artificial wave-maker thing, as an instructor shouted helpful tips to you. It was pretty entertaining to watch, and we all agreed that my dad would have definitely wanted to try it, if he’d been there with us.
We got our second round of Thai massages at Nai Harn, and this time, they were actually quite painful. The masseuses don’t ask if you have any injuries or medical conditions they should be aware of, so you really need to tell them right away if something hurts in a bad / dangerous way, because they don’t seem to think that facial grimacing means they need to ease up. To be fair, massages that are meant to get knots out and actually soften your muscles in a therapeutic way (rather than just feel relaxing) are supposed to hurt a bit, but this was…. More than a bit.
Chiang Mai
In Chiang Mai, we stayed at an AirBNB hosted by a Thai woman named Pat:
I bought that super-cute onesie number at the Night Bazaar the night before
We spent the first afternoon in Chiang Mai wandering around the Old Town area, which has several temples, many shops, and many massage parlors. One of the unique things offered at the massage places is the "fish spa": you put your feet in a tank of toothless garra rufa fish (i.e. "Doctor Fish"), and the fish swarm your feat to nibble away at the dead skin on them. Refreshing no? A 30-minute fish spa treatment is generally 200-300 baht ($6-9 USD). We referred to this as the "the fish chomp-chomp" and people pretty much knew what we were talking about. Mom, Therese, and I never tried it, but a friend that we made in Chiang Mai sent me a photo of when he did it:
While we waited for the Night Bazaar to open, we found a place offering 70 baht ($2) mojitos:
As we were hanging out at the mojito place, a woman passed by with her husband and kids, and decided she needed a drink and some time without the family, so she joined us for a ladies' night, which was amazing. Her name is Cara, she is Canadian, she works for DSHS, and she confirmed the rumors we'd heard about the Canadian immigration website crashing the night of the U.S. election.
When she heard that I would be alone in Thailand on Christmas night after Therese and Mom left, Cara invited me to join her and her family in Phuket for Christmas dinner. It was SUCH a sweet offer, but it just wasn't practical to go back to Phuket for one night. (I spent that night on a bus to Krabi instead.)
We had about 3 mojitos and a shot of whiskey each, so Night Bazaar shopping was a different experience than we planned on... but we still got some solid shopping done! Mom treated me to a pair of elephant salt-and-pepper shakers and a shorts-onesie-jumper-thing. Hooray for functional souvenirs and new clothes!
The next day we went to a Thai cooking class. We met at the big produce market, where I learned that durian is a very stinky but very delicious local fruit (there are signs indicating "no durian allowed" in some confined public areas), and saw some frogs-kebobs.
Then we went with the rest of the group to the school. We got a tour of the herbs and spices grown locally in their garden, and learned how to mash our own curry, and then proceeded to try out recipes for 1) pad thai noodles, 2) chicken basil stir fry, 3) tom yam soup, 4) chicken curry, and 5) bananas in coconut milk for dessert. We also got to sample a pre-prepared papaya salad.
Our teacher, Dae, was the most hilarious, absolute best part of the cooking class.
Pad Thai Noodles
Tom Yam Soup with Shrimp
Bananas in Coconut Milk (almost too pretty to eat, right?)
One of the ingredients we used was "black soy sauce," which is made by fermenting soy sauce with sugar or molasses. As it turns out, black soy sauce also smells weirdly similar to ayahuasca, and I got some major flashbacks for a second ...
The next day, we spent the morning at an elephant sanctuary. We were careful to pick one where people do NOT ride the elephants, because elephants' spines are built for supporting lots of weight underneath them, but not on top, so it's pretty bad to ride them.
We shared our tuk-tuk ride to the elephants with a couple from Australia, and two guys who grew up in San Diego together -- Jared and Miguel -- and they were awesome; just very genuine, friendly and hilarious dudes. They were so much fun, in fact, that I ended up following them to Koh Phi Phi, but that's another post.
At the elephant sanctuary, there were two main activities: feeding the elephants, and then splashing around in the river with them. The staff seemed to really care about the animals' wellbeing. I overheard one of them say, "I see elephants every day. I want to see snow!" Crazy to think that some people go their entire lives without seeing snow, or the ocean for that matter. Anyhow, here's photos!
The 70-year old grama elephant -- her skin is pretty thin and loose so you can see the shape of her skull more
Mom was really great about showing the elephants some affection by patting their bodies --
the rest of us pretty much just threw food in their mouths because we didn't want to get our hands dirty...
At the end of our morning with the elephants, the staff gave everyone a little shoulder bag-purse thing as a thank-you. Some of them had silk elephants on them, and the others were a more tribal graphic design. We decided we would just give ours to "the girls" (Janelle's three daughters), but of course, you can't give siblings three gifts when there is clearly have a "best one" -- they need to be basically the same thing so that there won't be fighting over who gets the coolest one. So we embarked on a series of trades to try to get three purses with different main colors, but no elephants. I thought people would think we were being unreasonable and eccentric about it, but when my mom explained they were for sisters who were 2, 4, and 6 years old, people got onboard right away, and we were able to reach our objective. I gave my mom some foreign currency that I can no longer use (mostly Colombian pesos and Brazilian reales) for them to put in the purses and play with. Real money from other countries has to be more fun than fake U.S. money, right?
Bangkok (Round Two)
When we went back to Bangkok after Chiang Mai, we stayed in a different part of town, further down Sukhumvit Road. That's all I know about where we were. Bangkok is just so huge, and I never knew where we were aside from which BTS stop we had gotten on or off.
Anyway, we ventured to the "backpacker haven" of Khao San Road for some shopping, and I bought a long-pants-onesie-jumper thing, something I've been wanting ever since I began the trip! Literally seconds after that purchase, my mom comes up to me and tries to fix the right strap of the dress I'm wearing, because it broke, leaving half my bra exposed. Alas, it was it was unfixable. Good thing I just bought a new outfit! I went to the back of one of the clothing stores, expecting to see a dressing room, but found none. Did that stop me from changing? Nope. I've got modest-outfit-changing skills from middle school locker room days. However, the woman running the store came to the back seeming alarmed, and pointed to her Buddha shrine on the floor, saying "My Buddha! My Buddha!" I didn't know whether she was afraid I'd step on it, or if the Buddha wasn't supposed to see people getting half naked, but either way, I knew I needed to apologize profusely and get the hell outta there. My bad.
With some time to kill between Khao San Road and dinner at China Town, we went on a river cruise, which included purchasing a Chang beer from a mini "floating market" and feeding enormous fish with bread that our captain acquired by getting it thrown to him from shore (see video below).
I'm sure Therese won't mind me posting this one...
Floating market!
After the river cruise, we wandered around China Town, which hadn't been closed off to motorized traffic yet, so it was CROWDED. We were too hungry to wait for the time when China Town is supposed to really come alive with amazing food carts and be pedestrian-only (6:30pm), but we did find one great and inexpensive street vendor anyway, and tried a few new dishes: hoy tod, and kanom pakkat.
Blurry China Town
Bangkok street view from a BTS (sky train) station
That night -- Christmas Eve -- we picked up a big Chang beer and a small bottle of Sang Som whiskey, and put on a Mariah Carey Christmas playlist (followed by Michael Buble) to get in the holiday spirit despite the force of the heat trying to convince us it was not really December 25th. Eventually we made our way to the rooftop patio, did some stargazing and talked about life. I think that night was my favorite of Mom and Therese's visit.
On Christmas Day, we enjoyed a delicious breakfast followed by our fourth and final massages. I got an "aroma massage", which translated to a scented oil massage, so I was good and oily (but smelled GREAT) for my overnight bus ride to Krabi that night.
Saying goodbye to Mom and Therese was hard. I wish I could experience more of this adventure with people I know and love. However, there is a huge difference between traveling with people you know, and going it alone, so I can appreciate why the "solo" part of this journey is required. I am learning to be ever more self-reliant; I trust that even when things go wrong they are still going to be okay; and I feel more and more resilient to physical discomforts (dealing with unpredictable dorm temperatures and ever-present mosquito bites come to mind).
I also find myself wrestling with bigger life questions. World travelers tend to be such hippie types, very resistant to office jobs and all things "stability" or "convention" related, but I'm not that way at all. I feel somewhat less enchanted by traveling than it seems other people are. I still appreciate it a great deal, but I wonder whether, when I get back, I will be itching to leave again any time soon. One of the most significant lessons I've learned is that a person can get acclimated to an exotic new place pretty quickly. Although new places can offer so much beauty and a sense of awe at ALL THE THINGS that exist outside our daily lives, I think the greatest and most interesting adventures are the internal ones, like learning to accept yourself, to not judge so much, to say no to toxic relationships and messages, to build faith in yourself, to become aware of how everyone is connected through their shared humanity and supporting each other is so much more useful than competing with each ohter, to let go of the endless "could be" so you can have a more meaningful "what is."
I did a silly game on Facebook where you take a snapshot of a rapidly changing screen to capture a New Year's horoscope/prediction/resolution, and the one I got was "You will learn the art of letting go." I've always struggled with wanting to do and have more than is possible in one life, so it would be great if this year could be the year that I learn to embrace the fact that I have just one life, and to cultivate the wisdom to build it in a way that offers a sense of peace and contentment as deep as possible, given the limits of time and experiences it has to work within. If I can do that, I know I'll be an even more joyful person :)
Happy New Year, everyone!